Marriage as an Expression of Jewish Beliefs

Marriage as an Expression of Jewish Beliefs


The covenant of marriage is a reminder of God's covenant with Jewish people and a reminder of their covenantal obligations. Marriage in a way, acts as a metaphor for God's relationship with Israel and the marriage ceremony actually contains a verbal affirmation of God's benevolence.

It is strongly believed in Judaism that God actually knows/chooses your spouse - in the Talmud it is said that 40 days before a male child is conceived, a voice from heaven announces who's daughter he is going to married - this is literally a match made in heaven. The Jewish term for these soul mates is 'Bashert' (Rich, 2011).

Jews believe that marriage is not only a holy state of being, but that to be unmarried is an unnatural state - according to the Talmud an unmarried man is constantly thinking about sin. It is also a fulfilment of the example God set in Genesis when he created Eve for Adam. Torah teaches that God created woman because it is not good for a man to be alone (Genesis 2:18). Therefore, the joining of a man and a woman in marriage is a fulfilment of what God intended for humans.

Further more it creates a loving platform for the fulfilment of the commandment for procreation "be fruitful and multiply" - the first commandment (mitzvot) in the Torah.

The Jews believe that it is not until someone is married that they enter fully into the Jewish community - a community that has responsibility and concern for the survival of the Jewish people and a care and responsibility for strangers. Until the man and women unite in marriage, their souls are incomplete but through marriage they find a new united voice that plays a vital role in their community (Lamm, 2011).

They also believe that love is not realised fully in a relationship until the point of marriage, where commitment allows the love to grow and be enriched. Their covenant of marriage also contributes to fulfil and partake in the original covenant between Abraham and God.

Below is how some of the aspects of a Jewish marriage relate to their beliefs:

Wedding Component	Belief it Represents
Kabbalat Panim	It is a Jewish belief that a person’s wedding day must be a joyous occasion. It is a responsibility of every person in the Jewish community to make the happen for the bride and groom. Kabbalat Panim is a community way of ensuring the bride and groom are supported and celebrated on their wedding day.
Badeken	The veiling is done to emphasis the Jewish belief in modesty and that the soul and character of a person are paramount, regardless of physical appearance - In Genesis 24:65, Rebekah covered herself with a veil when she went to marry Isaac.
Ketubah	The Ketubah is the written contractual belief that the groom will care for and provide for the bride during the course of their marriage.
Chuppah	This represents the belief that marriage and the family home is the cornerstone of the Jewish community. It is also a reference to the bible which said that Abraham and Sarah had their tent open on all sides to welcome people in unconditional hospitality.
The Ring	The plain ring that the groom presents the bride (and in more modern weddings, the bride to the groom) and recites “Behold, you are sanctified to me with this ring in according to the law of Moses and Israel” - it is believed that the ring is an object of value which make the marriage official. The ring is plain as it represents the belief that the marriage should be one of simple beauty.
Seven Blessings	These are exclamations of several Jewish beliefs, such as in the creator God, in God that gives us love and joy, in God that blesses the world with children and are used to bless and celebrate the couple.
Breaking of the Glass	There are many explanations as to the beliefs behind this tradition. Some of them include: Symbolic of the destruction of the Temple of Jerusalem A reminder that even in times of great joy there can be sorrow The broken shards of glass may symbolise that a broken relationship may never be fully repaired.

Further Reading:

www.myjewishlearning.com/article/marriage-community/



References:

• Rich, T. R, (2011) 'Marriage' accessed 30 October 2016 <http://www.jewfaq.org/marriage.htm> 
• Lamm, M (2011) 'Marriage and Community' accessed 31 March 2016 <www.myjewishlearning.com/article/marriage-community/>

Jewish Marriage - Preparation and Ceremony

Origins:


Marriage is a fundamental belief in Judaism - traditionally the relationship between a man and woman where God is directly involved (Deuteronomy 24:1)

It is also the basis for which to fulfil God's commandment to "be fruitful and multiply" (have children and repopulate) - Genesis 1:28.

It is understood as the merger of a man and a woman into a single sole, and for this reason, it is believed that people are 'incomplete souls' until such time as they marry - their soles are only a part of larger whole which is meant to be unified.


Match Making

Jewish parents can engage the services of a shadchan or match maker who would choose a suitable spouse for their son or daughter. This was a paid position in the community although a rabbi would be used as an intermediary between the two families.


Engagement (Kiddushin)

The first step in a marriage is the engagement or kiddushin. In earlier times, the kiddushin used to take place up to a year before the marriage ceremony during which the husband would prepare a home for his new family, however, today and in recent times, the engagement and the marriage process take place on the same day in one larger ceremony incorporating the two procedures.

A kiddushin is more legally binding in Judaism than the typical engagement by a modern English understanding. Once the kiddushin occurs in Judaism, the wife is legally bound to the husband - and the relationship created can only be dissolved by death or divorce. However, spouses do not live together at the time of the kiddushin and mutual obligations do not take effect until the marriage is completed.

Marriage (Nusu'in)

Because a marriage is essentially a contractual agreement between a husband and wife a rabbi does not need to preside over the ceremony, although it is common that they do officiate - usually in Australia due to the law that requires a religious or civil celebrant to be present at a wedding.

Lead Up To the Ceremony

Separation - typically the bride and groom will be separated for the week before the wedding

Aliyah - one the Shabbat of the week of the wedding, it is customary for the groom to have the honor of reciting a blessing over the Torah reading. At the time there will be jubilant celebrations and throwing lollies at the bride and groom symbolising the sweetness of the event.

Fasting - on the day of the wedding the bride and groom fast as their wedding day is their own personal Yom Kippur - as such, the groom will often wear a kittel on his wedding day - a white robe like garment which is also worn on the feast day of Yom Kippur.

A kittel

Kabbalat Panim - Prior to the ceremony the bride and groom will meet with guests separately and tradition likens the bride and groom to a queen and king for the day. The kallah (bride) will sit on a throne like chair to greet her guests while the chatan (groom) will be surrounded by guests who will sing and toast him. This tradition stems from a time when a bride (or groom) may not have had family to celebrate her special day and the community instigated this practice to ensure that there were community members around her to support her for her wedding.

Kallah at the kabbalat panim

At this time, there is a Ashkenazi tradition that the two mothers (of the bride and groom) may also break a plate together to symbolise that like the place can never be fully repaired, so too can a broken relationship never be properly repaired.

Kiddushin Ceremony

Signing of the Ketubah - the ancient marriage contract is signed by two witnesses who must not be blood relations to the couple marrying. The Ketubah is a ancient document that outlines the grooms responsibilities towards the bride for the length of their marriage. The Ketubah is generally a decorative document that symbolises the beauty and romance of the wedding in modern marriages.

Modern Ketubah

     

Ancient ketubah

              

Badeken - The groom covers the bride's face with a veil as a reference to the biblical story of Rebecca veiling her face when she was brought to Isaac to be his wife. It can also be symbolic of the man's love for his wife's character rather than her appearance.

Approaching the Chuppah - The groom and then the bride make their way toward the Chuppah (canopy) where the wedding ceremony will take place. Each is escorted by their respective parents.

Circling - the bride traditionally circles the groom seven times as a symbolic gesture of building a wall of love around him and their relationship - seven being a sacred number in Judaism. In modern weddings, the bride may circle the groom 3 times, the groom circle the bride 3 times then they may continue the last circle together as a couple.

Blessings over the Wine - Two cups of wine are used during the ceremony and two blessings said - one the standard blessing over the wine (similar to what is done on the Sabbath) and the other blessing for the marriage - the couple then drink from the cup of wine.

Giving of the Ring - The marriage become official according to Jewish law when the groom give the bride a something of value, typically a ring. It should be a plain ring, unadorned by stones or jewels to symbolise the simplicity and beauty of the marriage. When the man places the ring on the woman's finger he recites: "be sanctified to me with this ring in accordance with the law of Moses and Israel"

When the kiddushin is complete, the ketubah is read aloud and it is presented to the bride to retain for the duration of her marriage.

Nisu'in Ceremony

Chuppah - the bride and groom stand under the chuppah that is symbolic of the home that they will build together as husband and wife and of the husband bringing the wife into his home.

Bride and groom under the chuppah

Seven Blessings - seven blessings (sheva brachot) are recited then over the second cup of wine by a rabbi or other people that are very important to the couple being married. The seven blessings in essence are:

1. ... who has created everything for his glory
2. ... who has fashioned the man
3. ... who has fashioned the man in his image...
4. ... who gladdens Zion through her children
5. ... who gladdens the groom and bride.
6. ... who created joy and gladness... who gladdens the groom with the bride
7.  An individual prayer for happiness for the couple and a prayer of joy for the messianic future.

The couple then drinks the wine

Breaking of the glass - The groom then smashes the glass with his right foot - there are many varying beliefs as to why this is done - some of the most common include to symbolise the destruction of the Temple of Jerusalem, a representation of the fragility of human relationships, a hope that the many shards of glass will be representative of plentiful happiness, hope (and/or children) in the marriage in the future or a belief that the loud noise will drive evil spirits away.

Breaking the glass

Yichud - The newly married couple now retire to a private room for no less than 8 minutes. This is symbolic of the husband taking his new wife into his home and it also gives the couple some private time together to embrace and spend time together after having not seen each other for a week.

After the Marriage

The ceremonies are followed by a festive meal with the repetition of the sheva brachot (seven blessings). Plenty of food is served and there is exuberant music and dancing to celebrate the happy occasion.

Great website for further reading:

http://www.smashingtheglass.com/2014/06/09/a-guide-to-the-jewish-wedding-ceremony-and-order-of-service-under-the-chuppah/

Judaism Bioethcis - Organ Transplant

Organ transplant and donation in Jewish Bioethics is largely permitted on the basis that life is sacred and should be preserved. It is supported by 2 of the 3 Jewish Bioethical principles of:

1. Human life has infinite value

and

3. Improvement of the patient's quality of life is a constant commitment.

• Transplant usually occurs in a patient where their own organ is diseased, ceased functioning as needed for the body's health or injured is replaced by a new organ usually from a different or individual donor.

All forms of Judaism support and encourage organ donation.

If someone is able to donate to save the life of another person, then it is a requirement under the Jewish belief that "All human life has infinite value", regardless of who that person is or whether they have a relationship or even know the recipient.

Donation of corneas in order to restore sight under the Jewish belief that the restoration of sight is considered a lifesaving act.

Donation generally occurs from an individual who has recently died although the donated organ is still healthy. If consent has been given, then post-death removal of an organ is accepted and supported.

If consent has not been given then it is considered stealing and therefore should not occur.
If an organ has been 'harvested' prior to death, then it is generally not supported as the removal of this organ could hasten the death of the donor.

If the donor is not a 'true' donor and has been threatened or coerced into making the donation then that organ has been stolen and is in breach of the eighth commandment "Thou shalt not steal" and therefore should not occur.

Further Reading

BBC Jewish Organ Donation
Organ Donation - Chabad.org
My Jewish Learning - Organ Donation

References:

Clark, H (2007). Spotlight: Studies of Religion HSC, Chapter 6: Judaism, Science Press, Marrickville, NSW, p. 169.